Author: Ivor Edwards
Thursday, 26 September 2002 - 04:18 pm |        |
Hi Brad and John,
Brad, A High Street in England is not a store but a main street in a town or city where one finds the main chain stores.I am sorry I confused you on that point also I will be glad to answer any questions you may have on the book.The "Titanic" is coming along fine and is quite long at 42 inches it should look quite impressive when it is finished. Several months ago I went to the berth at Southampton from where the Titanic sailed and the hotel where the 1st class passengers stayed on their last night ashore is still visible opposite the berth.When I went to the Titanic museum in Southampton many years ago they never had a model of the ship would you believe.
Hi John, Thanks for your kind words and the information that my book is now in the shops which is good news.Best wishes. |
Author: Monty
Friday, 27 September 2002 - 12:42 pm | |
Ivor,
You maybe interested to know that in the Leicester branch of Waterstones your book is NOT on the shelves. Nor is it underneath them, on the floor, nor under the counter.
Kick 'em up the a*$E & tell 'em to get a move on !
Monty
42 inches !!! My that is Titanic !! |
Author: Ivor Edwards
Friday, 27 September 2002 - 07:45 pm | |
| Hi Monty,It wont be going to Leicester they only send it to towns where people can read !!!!! Joking aside did you look in the bin at Waterstones ? My wife saw a dozen copies on the shelf at Waterstones at Newport (IOW) today.It will take a day or two before it gets North to the land of Andy Capp!!!! Do the men there still wear cloth caps,hob nail boots, and braces with their belts ? More to the point do they still say, "Ah lad theres nought so queer as folk" :-) |
Author: alex chisholm
Friday, 27 September 2002 - 09:28 pm | |
Now, Ivor
The indomitable Andy Capp hails from a bit further North, and somewhere more refined than Leicester. – (Sorry Monty!)
All the Best
alex |
Author: Ivor Edwards
Saturday, 28 September 2002 - 03:43 am | |
Hi Alex,
Thanks for putting me straight on that point.All of those whom live North of Cambridge I tend to tar with the same brush. Maybe it has to do with the fact that their diet consists of either black pudding, pork pies,sheep's brains, pig's trotters or haggis!!!!Monty will now be known as Monty the pie!! :-) Check out his profile Alex if you have not done so for it is the best on the boards. |
Author: Andy & Sue Parlour
Saturday, 28 September 2002 - 12:26 pm | |
Hello Ivor,Monty & Alex,
As Monty says 42ins is Titanic. My mate had a 12inch one but he never used it as a rule.
Ivor, you are spot on about north of Cambridge.
I'me glad we live in a real low part.
Andy. |
Author: stephen miller
Saturday, 28 September 2002 - 12:56 pm | |
Oy you lot I live north of Cambridge and I do not eat any of those things that Ivor describes and the only braces I wear are on my socks
anyway at least my diet does not consist of jellied eels
only joking folks
I'm off to buy another cloth cap the wind up here has blown my old one off my head and I've had it since I was a kid
all the best
steve |
Author: Monty
Sunday, 29 September 2002 - 05:34 am | |
Ivor,
Leicester is in the MIDLANDS. Not The North where they are refined (Alex, oooh, that Northern humour, had me rolling !!) nor the south were they are...a...bit...slow !
I live in the land that gave birth to the modern english language, the language that you use in your book not the one you use at home. The place that clothes your feet, that gave you Pork pie and Stilton. The land the gave this country one of the greatest ever goalscorers at footy and a English World cup winning goalkeeper. Jet engines, King Lear, the Laughing policeman, a nine day queen, the greatest Rugby union club side ever in the Northern hemisphere, the National space centre, the Nations Cricket academy, Showaddywaddy and the Genius that is Duncan Norvelle...ooo, chase me !
Whats with the sequinned suits anyway, my pearly friend ?? You must admit that you do have the touch of the 'La Rues' down there dont you ?
Nah we dont say that, we say "thes nowt queer as southerners !"
Monty.........ok, whose nicked mi tripe ???
Stuff ya book !
PS does it still have that map ??
PPS and do I get a discount if I say that Im a personnal friend of the author ?? |
Author: Garry Ross
Sunday, 29 September 2002 - 05:14 pm | |
Monty,
That were Grand and champion like 'appen. Here in the East Midlands because we still haven't got that new fangled electrickery stuff we have to watch TV by candlelight
By 'eck though eh? It's a rum 'un
take care
Garry
back to me pigeons... |
Author: Warwick Parminter
Sunday, 29 September 2002 - 06:30 pm | |
Adoo Garry lad, I lives over here to the left on yer, lookin down that is. Yoom lucky bein able to watch yower t.v. by candle power, I bought mine 12 munths agoo, they dumped the bloody thing in the living room, not a bloody word did the buggers say, I anna found out how to turn the bloody thing on yet.
Rick
do they have wet batteries still? |
Author: Ivor Edwards
Sunday, 29 September 2002 - 09:11 pm | |
Hi Monty,
I forgot all about the tripe!!! As it happens Monty there is much to be said for Notherners I must admit. Many people from the North are more down to earth than many middle class folk from the South. I had one Southern middle class woman cry, "Oh my God" to me on the phone because I called her "dear" she then slammed the phone down!! A friend of mine got sacked from a painting job in a large house in Kensington because he called the customer "mate" it transpired that the customer was a prince from some foreign royal family over here for medical treatment. My friend was expected to touch his forelock and refer to the guy as your highness. I upset some people on the Isle of Wight some months back when we went to some old Victorian fort on top of the cliffs at the Needles. After viewing the fort we went into the tea shop where I was informed by staff of the WI that it was rather a pity that we had not visited the place some months earlier because we would have seen Prince Charles opening the fort to the public.I replied, " Then it's a pity someone didn't push him over the cliff while he was here". Fine example he is as a figurehead for the British people suffice to state that they deserve far better then the likes of him. God only knows why we have a royal family anyway.Now on to the serious business.In answer to your question Monty the book does indeed contain lots of maps and lots of lovely lies the latter of which were included to be in keeping with many other works on the subject.Not only will you receive a discount if you say you are a personnal friend of mine but you will also be arrested for conspiracy to mislead the public. |
Author: Monty
Tuesday, 01 October 2002 - 11:32 am | |
Ivor,
My God, your right,Ive just been banged up for 24 hrs on a charge of conspiracy to mislead the public !!
Got the buggers back though. Gave my name as nothing. They've just chucked me out of the clink.
I think I'll turn towards Aldgate !
Monty...now wheres that pop ticket ?
Come the revolution...............! |
Author: Caroline Morris
Tuesday, 01 October 2002 - 12:06 pm | |
Hi Monty,
You look really cute in that apron - how much d'ya charge for a quick one?
Love,
Jack Dee Whipper |
Author: Monty
Tuesday, 01 October 2002 - 12:13 pm | |
Jack D,
G&T and a meal up the Chinky !
Come with me, I know a quiet spot, mighty, thats a big knife yo............ |
Author: Warwick Parminter
Tuesday, 01 October 2002 - 01:51 pm | |
| Monty, big hands first, then big knife |
Author: Caroline Morris
Wednesday, 02 October 2002 - 05:51 am | |
Another myth I'm afraid Rick, according to next week's Radio Times - big hands and big feet have nothing to do with the size of the weapon - but apparently Northern European white men have the biggest in the world. 
Prawn balls, Monty? Or is it just the way you are walking?
And not that spot, dear, it's too damp. Pick another spot and I'll be right with you.
Love,
Jack |
Author: ALAN SMITH
Wednesday, 02 October 2002 - 06:45 am | |
How can anyone draw a north/south divide at Cambridge? Carlisle is where it should be. The genius which abounds north of that non descript town gave us the television, the telephone, the pneumatic tyre, penecilin,(for which many southerners should be particularly grateful) the Bank of England, antiseptics, tarmacadam, Sherlock Holmes, James Bond, Scott, Carlyle, deep fried Mars Bars and The Krankies.
Is it Kulture ye want pal, I'll give ye kulture. |
Author: Christopher T George
Wednesday, 02 October 2002 - 11:23 am | |
Aye, Laddie, but us Sassenachs below the border can spell penicillin.  |
Author: Timsta
Wednesday, 02 October 2002 - 11:52 am | |
Caz:
'Northern European white men have the biggest in the world' - nope, I'm afraid. Madagascans. And the 'nul points' award goes to the Japanese.
Alan:
Television - I'm afraid that honor goes to the unfortunately-named Beaver City, Utah, birthplace of Philo T. Farnsworth. The whole Baird mechanical thing is mere Scots propaganda.
The Krankies are indeed fandabidozi, though.
Regards
Timsta |
Author: Caroline Morris
Wednesday, 02 October 2002 - 01:36 pm | |
Hi Timsta,
Ahem, how can I put this delicately? The Radio Times has it that the Northern European white men easily outrank everyone else, er, when in a certain state - and by that I don't mean when they are on their hols in Florida!
Even more unfortunately named than Beaver City is the group of youngsters who get together for meetings in the depths of Surrey, in the village of Tongham - they call themselves the Tongham Beavers.
Up the Southerners!
Love,
Caz |
Author: Chris Jd
Wednesday, 02 October 2002 - 01:56 pm | |
Caz,
I always thought that Black men...
Christian |
Author: David Radka
Wednesday, 02 October 2002 - 03:22 pm | |
The problem with most Ripperologists is they don't have a big enough one, IMHO.
David |
Author: Caroline Morris
Thursday, 03 October 2002 - 03:09 am | |
Hi Christian,
Yeah, it's true, apparently, but only when in another, er, rather less interesting state, shall we say.
Another myth exposed...
Love,
Caz
PS I don't really understand the science of it - hubby told me it has something to do with the coefficient of phallic expansion and mumbled something about carnal thrusters, and it's all above my head... |
Author: ALAN SMITH
Thursday, 03 October 2002 - 04:42 am | |
Caz,
Thats the safest place for it.
Chris,
Oh you mean THAT penicillin.
Timsta,
I'm afraid your mistaken. I bought my television in Glasgow and the salesman assured me it had never been near a beaver of any description.
Regards to all
Alan |
Author: Monty
Thursday, 03 October 2002 - 12:34 pm | |
David,
Nor do they have the balls to show us !
Monty
|
Author: Timsta
Thursday, 03 October 2002 - 03:09 pm | |
Caz:
"The Radio Times has it that the Northern European white men easily outrank everyone else"
Well, they would say that, wouldn't they?
Regards
Timsta
Northern European white man |
Author: Caroline Morris
Friday, 04 October 2002 - 04:24 am | |
Hi Timsta,
The Radio Times article, by Dr Mark Porter, is called How big is your love?, and he got that info from www.sizessurvey.com
I'll check that out, but I suppose I should go back to primary sources and conduct my own survey.
I may be gone some time...
Love,
Caz |
Author: Michael Raney
Friday, 04 October 2002 - 02:49 pm | |
Caz,
I have conducted my own survey.....continuing my research daily (or at least weekly). It's Irish men, without a doubt!
Mikey
I love you Monty! |
Author: Divia deBrevier
Monday, 07 October 2002 - 03:52 am | |
Greetings all:
Okay, since I've been out of the loop for over a week, the Swedish Chef impression is no longer relevant. So if you want it, you'll have to ask for it. Heh, I bet you don't....
Dear Mikey:
You have to wait in line... Monty is MINE!
Warm regards,
Divia |
Author: Michael Raney
Monday, 07 October 2002 - 05:53 pm | |
Divia Darling,
I wouldn't even attempt to take Monty away from you.....but....variety is the spice of life!
Mikey |
Author: Divia deBrevier
Tuesday, 08 October 2002 - 02:21 am | |
Dear Mikey:
And you don't think that Monty is variety enough? You just aren't a big enough Monty fan!
*wuff*
Div |
Author: Monty
Wednesday, 09 October 2002 - 07:27 am | |
Divia,
Compared to you no-one is !!
I wouldnt have it any other way.
Wheres Donstonists ?
Monty
|
Author: jennifer pegg
Friday, 03 January 2003 - 01:54 pm | |
hi
in what area was the hospital in which donston was in
cheers
jennifer |
Author: chris scott
Friday, 03 January 2003 - 05:26 pm | |
Hi Jennifer
Donston was in the London Hospital on Whitchapel Road, virtually opposite modern Whitechapel Underground station. It is also very near Brady Street which leads into Durward Street (Buck's Row as was)
Regards
chris |
