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Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 1366
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Monday, November 24, 2003 - 6:38 pm: | 
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Hey Natalie, glad you found it. This is really good.
Robert |
David O'Flaherty
Inspector
Username: Oberlin
Post Number: 191
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Monday, November 24, 2003 - 8:27 pm: |
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With apologies to A.P. 
THIRSTY LIKE A.P. WOLF
Somewhere in the Atlantic is a mysterious sort
Don’t offer him water, he only likes port
Do-do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do
Jack the Myth I want it, looking to buy
Can’t ever afford it, the price is too high
Do-do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do
Sitting on bars
Boy or girl, I don't know which
Spanish brandy abounds, tastes like it sounds
Now I’m thirsty like A.P. Wolf.
Posting while drunk, methinks I thunk
I knew a thing ‘bout pro-fil-ing
I’m stumbling in clogs, stepping on dogs
‘Cause I’m thirsty like A.P. Wolf.
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AP Wolf
Chief Inspector
Username: Apwolf
Post Number: 576
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 2:51 am: |
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David
that was a damn good rip, enjoyed every last drop.
Now where's that damned bottle? I must take a drunken ramble with a criminal profiler or two. |
Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 1371
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 7:53 am: |
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The cellar was dark, and AP's glasses still hadn't come through. But he found the crate, raised a glass container to his lips, and blissfully quaffed the contents.
The next moment there was a sudden Hyde-like transformation :
"Ugh! In the name of Cutbush, what is this muck? Chemicals?"
He struck a match and gazed into the crate.
"The idiots! I ordered bottles for Wolf, and they've sent me Wolfe bottles."
Life indeed was a sod.
Robert |
Caroline Anne Morris
Inspector
Username: Caz
Post Number: 486
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 8:04 am: |
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I was alone, I took a walk, I didn’t know what I would find there.
Another road where maybe I would meet the lowest kind of whore there.
Ooh, then I suddenly see her,
Ooh, I won’t say why I need her.
Ev’ry whore I catch must feel my knife.
You didn’t run, you didn’t scream, you thought I wanted just to have you.
You even laughed when I said “Girl, you’ll be all right for what I told you”.
Ooh, I was sent for babes like you,
Ooh, and this blade was meant for you,
Say we’ll be together all night long.
Got to get you onto my knife.
What can I do, what can I be, when I’m with her I want to stay there.
And if I could I’d never leave, but if I did I’d know the way there.
Ooh, then I suddenly see her,
Ooh, and again I destroy her,
Ev’ry single day of my life.
The red stuff tells me “This is your life”.
Got to get her out of my life.
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Caroline Anne Morris
Inspector
Username: Caz
Post Number: 487
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 8:12 am: |
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The minute I walked down the street,
I could see another whore at the junction,
Just ripe for destruction,
Stood looking, made up my mind
“Say, wouldn’t you like to come with me, I’ll treat you kind”.
So let me get right to the point,
I don’t spare the knife with ev’ry gal I hack.
“You look tender,
Spend a little time with Jack”.
“Wouldn’t you like to have fun, fun, fun,
How’s about a last laugh, ha ha ha,
Let me show you a ripping time”,
Just like I showed her a ripping time.
I got her neck right on my point,
Had to stop her game with ev’ryone but yours truly,
“Gay East Ender,
Spend your final hour with me”.
|
David O'Flaherty
Inspector
Username: Oberlin
Post Number: 192
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 8:13 am: |
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Cheers, AP
Dave |
Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 1372
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 8:22 am: |
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Very funny, Caz!
A POLICEMAN'S LOT
Imagine Jack's in Devon
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Kidneys from a Jealous Guy
Imagine all the people off our backs today
Imagine there's no slum streets
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die in
And Jack's in Devon too
Imagine all the people living somewhere else
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day Jack joins us
In a cell that's built for one
Imagine no confessions
I wonder if you can?
Why all this crazy hunger
To be this crazy man?
Imagine all the loonies on someone else's patch
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day Jack joins us
In a cell that's built for one
Robert |
Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 1373
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 8:29 am: |
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MCCARTHY
Sailors come see my rents
Take it in a double sense
No rush, no cares, no frets -
I don't run no suffragettes
I've got nice ladies I have found
Short and not too big around
I'm a man of means, and I'm mean!
I'm king of this road.
Robert |
Natalie Severn
Police Constable
Username: Severn
Post Number: 4
Registered: 11-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 10:35 am: |
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Liked those very much Robert-and the rest.
Arles,Southern France.December 1888
Maison de Tolerance no. 1[licenced brothel]
A few half dressed girls are fussing over another young girl who has fainted and been lifted onto a chair.One is adminisering smelling salts another is wafting a fan.
The woman in charge appears looking agitated.
She is dressed in red and black satin and looks a few years older than the others.
[to the girls]
Oh hurry up will you.He isnt to be allowed in
again thats for sure.[pushes her way in]Rachel[the name of the girl who has fainted] wake up will you.[gives her little slaps around ther face]
I really can"t have any more of these mad types in here.We"ll be having the police arrive soon to take statements.His friend isn"t right either so I
will report him too I dont want him or his friend in this house again-understood?
The girs move away gently from the still drowsy Rachel.Ofcourse Ma"am as you wish Ma"am.
Madame [continuing her rant]-You never know these days what Tom Dick or Harry might arrive here next.Whatever did he think we would want with a piece of his ear?...makes you wonder it does.They say that Jack the Ripper may be in France.I read in the papers that he"d jumped bail so we need to be on our guard in a place like this.[a loud knocking on the outside door.]
Madame[all of a dither]One moment sirs we"ll be with you in a second[shoes the girls away and straightens up].
Two uniformed policemen stand at the door.
First policeman;Good Evening Madam,We understand you have an incident to report.
Madame ushers them both inside.[to be continued] |
Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 1377
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 11:46 am: |
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Enjoying this, Natalie. It was never like this in the Don McLean song!
PS Do let us know what happens to Monty. Does he commit suicide again?
Robert |
AP Wolf
Chief Inspector
Username: Apwolf
Post Number: 577
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 1:23 pm: |
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Yes I'm enjoying all this as well.
Thought Caz's superb and I did enjoy Roberts 'Imagine' - on that note Robert I forgot to congratulate you on 'Another Brick in the Wall' earlier, that was a stunner.
Natalie's mix of van Gogh and Jack appeals as well, my dear old dad went to his grave convinced that Vincent was Jack. I believe he did lodge in the general area of London but I don't think it was in 1888 but much earlier, I might be wrong. Vincent did indeed have some sexual problems of a minor nature but nobody painted corn fields or sunflowers better.
It is heartening to see the poetry channel in full flow but I'm afraid you will have to do without my minor contributions for a while as I depart yet again for the islands of the Indian Ocean on Sunday and soon after that will be in the land down under - that place full of exclamation marks and bold type - for a lengthy sojourn.
I will stay in touch but most of the establishments offering internet use are 'cafes' and I'm afraid I will not settle for anything less than an 'Internet Bar'. |
Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 1378
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 1:54 pm: |
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Thanks AP. Well, I will try to post a serious one before you go. In the meantime :
Streetwalking guy
Telling streetwalking lies.
Don't you believe him 'cause if you do, he'll make you die.
He'll give you cachous and paint the town red with other girls.
He's a streetwalking guy,
And your ending is nigh.
Kisses each hooker,
Kidneys in wine (oh he's so fine).
He has a heart but I am afraid that it is mine.
He'll send you flowers for when your funeral is underway.
He's a streetwalking guy,
And your ending is nigh.
Stay away from him, stay away from him - you'll be sorry.
No you'll never win, never ever win - memento mori.
(Sorry, couldn't resist that last atrocious line)
Robert
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Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 1380
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 3:23 pm: |
|
HUTCHINSON
I'm leaning on a lamppost at the corner of the street
In case a certain little lady comes by.
Oh me, oh my,
I hope that Mary Kelly comes by.
I think I see her on her way,
And she may try to get away,
But I know she will certainly die.
Oh me, oh my,
I know that she will certainly die.
She's one of the girls that I wait for,
And soon she will be just a late whore,
She's someone that I'd mutilate for.
Oh here's a toff in spats!
I don't think much of that!
I'll wait until his pleasure's done
Then slip inside and have my fun,
I won't be telling Abberline why
I'm leaning on the lamppost at the corner of the street
In case a certain little lady comes by.
Robert |
Natalie Severn
Police Constable
Username: Severn
Post Number: 6
Registered: 11-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 4:11 pm: |
|
To A.P.
Meanwhile in "another place"
Long line has moved.
Montague;This seems a dreadfully long wait.
Vincent;There seem to be more and more joining this queue-maybe it has some special significance?
Montague;What I would like to know Kate is why
you don"t believe me.You of all people should know the secret of our tryst.[looks disappointed-bewildered even.Thats the trouble-nobody believes me.
Kate;You dont look anything like him thats why.
Blimey its nothing to be proud of-what are you saying like.You wish you were that monster or what?
Montague;I am the man they call Jack the Ripper.,
It was necessary to disguise my person a little I grant you-two pairs of trousers two coats ahat I could pull down over my brow-that sort of thing.I think I looked a good bit fatter than usual.
Vincent;[beginning to look troubled]Montague.If it was you this ripper fellow can I ask you why?
Montague;There are seven paths which lead to the
hidden wisdom of.......
Kate[florid with indignation]Listen mate there are no seven paths in my belly so what you wanted to be rooting around in there for......[she stops for a minute-what happened to my shawl eh only decent thing I had to my name.Who nicked that.Thats what I"d like to know!
Another nervous looking character arrives.
Goodday Sirs Goodday.I"ve been told to sit here.
May I join you?
Kate[with a start]What are you doing here?What is this-Judgement Day?
Vincent[kindly to the young man who looks distressed now]Sit here sit here[beckons to a seat near him].
Young man sits down and bursts into tears.
Kate[to Vincent]He was on Aldgate High Street
that last afternoon.I "m sure he was. Were you the one who called the police to me?
Young man;shaking his head between sobs.No,No I called no police to you.In fact I was just about to change into uniform.[to be continued]
Sorry you will not be posting so much A.P.Shall miss your poetry and your other posts.[you can guess the name of this next character can"t you]
Natalie |
Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 1381
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 4:45 pm: |
|
Hi Natalie
Keep going!
Don't worry, AP will boomerang back from Australia.
Robert |
Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 1388
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 8:59 am: |
|
Mick and Keith again :
Please allow me to introduce myself,
I know something about this case.
I've been around 115 years
Though you've never seen my face.
I was around when Israel Schwartz
Had his moment of transient fame,
I watched the three men disappear, leaving Liz -
And on I came.
Still I see you haven't guessed my name,
And you're puzzled still by the nature of my game.
Didn't stay much longer there
'Cause I thought it was the time for a change.
Made my way down to Mitre Square
Just to broaden out my range.
In I crept
While the watchman swept
And the policeman slept
As the Ripper leapt.
Still I see you haven't guessed my name,
And you're puzzled still by the nature of my game.
Just as every cop likes his cup of tea,
And all the whores drink gin,
To end this tale you can call me Jack
While I do another in.
But if you meet me have some courtesy, have some sympathy and be amazed,
Or like the message on the wall your soul will be erased.
Still I see you haven't guessed my name,
And you'e puzzled still by the nature of my game.
Robert
|
Natalie Severn
Police Constable
Username: Severn
Post Number: 8
Registered: 11-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 10:04 am: |
|
Conversations of people waiting in a line continued;
Young man; I am sorry about this, I"ve been in such trouble and still still they"re out to get me
they"ve tried poisoning me, shutting me up in an asylum,and even now they still spread rumours about me.
Kate;Like what?
Young man;Oh it sounds so terrible-like I"m Jack the Ripper thats what.
Montague[amused now]Really.I didn"t realise they suspected so many...[shakes his head]
Vincent;Never Mind poor chap.We"ve all been through the mill here.Whats your name anyway?
Young man;[gives sigh of relief]Thomas.
Kate [snappily]Thomas what?
Young man;Thomas Hayne Cutbush.
Vincent[giving Kate a cautionary look]Well you"re among friends here so don"t distress yourself anymore.
Montague;May I ask you why they have made the accusation-the one concerning the Whitechapel
rituals?
Thomas;[looks puzzled]rituals? Do you mean the murders?
Montague[waves aside the question]-whatever..
Thomas;Well I may as well be honest[looks a bit
embarrassed]I have been a bit violent in my time but not like that.Not to anything like that extent.What I did that really got up their noses
well my Uncle Charles" nose anyway and he and my mother and my Aunt all ganged up on me and made my life a misery because of it-I used to borrow my uncles spare uniform and patrol the area around St Botolph"s church and Aldgate High St
and give the prostitutes a bit of bother-just a joke really no harm meant[at this the others all exchange knowing glances].I didnt have all the outfit on but there were so many police about from the City and the met-half of them didn"t know each other anyway and those that did didnt speak to each other much so -well it got to be a habit I couldnt stop.The night of those two murders I"d gone to Mitre Square to one of the empty houses to change. It was about 1.15 and there was nobody arond I knew all their movements
I knew the met were watching for trouble makers
and the city were on special duty too around Duke St. so as long as I was careful I could do as i pleased really. I "d always wait for the all clear
and then I"d stuff my clothes under some floorboards or up the chimney change into the policeman"s gear and off I"d go.That night though I saw it all.I hid in the shadows and watched
sweating and trembling and not daring to move-I couln"t see everything from where I was crouched but I saw enough.Quick as lightening he was and off and away before you could say "Jack Robinson".
I didnt dare stop.I raced back to my hideaway
and pulled out my clothes from under the floorboards.Then I crept away just as the commotion started. When I got back my clothes were covered in mud from the damp and rain on the floorboard dust and that was what started my mother and Aunt off.They both went hysterical
and started hitting me together. I did them though in the end [laughs out loud]I gave em a real fright in the end.Another time,thats enough for now.
to be continued |
Natalie Severn
Police Constable
Username: Severn
Post Number: 9
Registered: 11-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 10:15 am: |
|
Robert'the latest poem is superb.That and A.P.s Mirror poems my!But really there have been several others too which I found splendid.I"m sorry I"m not in the mood to write verse what I want to say lends itself more to prose.Natalie |
Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 1389
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 10:24 am: |
|
Hi Natalie
Thanks, and I'm enjoying your piece hugely. In fact, I'm trying to guess the ending. You've got me hooked.
It's OK if you want to write prose - we've already had prose pieces on here.
Robert |
Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 1391
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 11:28 am: |
|
By the way, AP, interesting that your father believed that Vincent was Jack. If I remember right, in the film "Night of the Generals" there's a scene where Peter O'Toole (who plays General Tanz, a Nazi ripper) gazes into the eyes of a self-portrait that Vincent did in an asylum, and is hypnotised.
Robert |
Natalie Severn
Police Constable
Username: Severn
Post Number: 10
Registered: 11-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 12:20 pm: |
|
Glad you are Robert!Thanks and yes it was fascinating A.P. about your Dad and his thinking on Vincent.I agree with you what fields of corn
and Sunflowers and his Irises too are second to none! Natalie |
AP Wolf
Chief Inspector
Username: Apwolf
Post Number: 582
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 1:11 pm: |
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Natalie
it's nice to see young Thomas getting an airing, imaginative stuff and I really enjoy it. As Robert said this is all about experimentation here and prose is as welcome as poesie.
Robert, I toyed with that Mick and Keith number but gave it up as too difficult and complicated so you have my sincere congratulations for making it run so well. A fine piece.
Yes, my dear old dad remained convinced that Vincent did it and I remember well his outrage when he first read the Myth and realised that I had left out 'his' suspect.
Does anyone know exactly when Vincent lodged in the East End? All I remember is that he fell madly in love with either the daughter of the house or one of the servants.
The poor chap had such a tortured life that it is difficult to imagine how he managed to find the pure love to set so many of us free with his incredible images.
Just like Blake, and probably just like Jack. |
AP Wolf
Chief Inspector
Username: Apwolf
Post Number: 583
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 1:15 pm: |
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There was a young fellow called Sadaam
who mixed his cheese up with his ham
so he put egg on his face
and then tried to replace
the ham in the roll with spam. |
Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 1392
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 1:40 pm: |
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Hi AP
Thanks. Liked the Limo!
According to http://www.vangoghgallery.com/ Vincent was in London in the 70s, but not 1888.
Robert |
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