| Author |
Message |
    
Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 4479
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 01, 2005 - 9:59 am: | 
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"I was just removing a fish bone from Kelly's throat" - Jack. |
Jennifer D. Pegg
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Jdpegg
Post Number: 2479
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 01, 2005 - 11:01 am: |
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Robert!!
tut tut tut!!
Jenni |
Steve Turner
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Thursday, June 02, 2005 - 3:26 pm: |
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Mine comes from my own brother. Quote on "So you've been researching this for 20 years, and you
still dont know who done it?" mind you!!!! |
Sandy
Sergeant
Username: Sandy
Post Number: 23
Registered: 2-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, June 30, 2005 - 1:01 am: |
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I have to say that the stupidest thing that has been said to me concerning Jack the Ripper was during my last semester at school. I was talking to a friend of mine and I told her about my interest in the case, and she said, "Oh, I remember when that happened"!
Sandy |
George Hutchinson
Chief Inspector
Username: Philip
Post Number: 621
Registered: 1-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, August 07, 2005 - 7:36 pm: |
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Tonight capped it all.
I had an Aussie man on my tour tonight who asked my driver :
"Are there dummies on the sites where the bodies were found to show where they were?"
Dear God.
PHILIP
Tour guides do it loudly in front of a crowd!
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Adam Went
Inspector
Username: Adamw
Post Number: 300
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, August 08, 2005 - 5:07 am: |
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Hi Philip,
Hmmm...that is a bit of a strange question, but are you sure that this Aussie was being serious when he asked?
Just a guess, but as an Australian too, that sounds to me a bit like what an Australian with a strange sense of humour would ask, just as a bit of sarcasm, so I was just curious about that.
Nobody could ask something like that, surely! Especially not an Australian!!!!!!
Cheers,
Adam. 
P.S. Yippee! Post number #300 for me!
"...Since then the idea has taken full possession of me, and everything fits in and dovetails so well that I cannot help feeling that this (George Chapman) is the man we struggled so hard to capture fifteen years ago..."
- Inspector Frederick Abberline, March 1903 interview, Pall Mall Gazette .
Hmmm.....
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George Hutchinson
Chief Inspector
Username: Philip
Post Number: 624
Registered: 1-2005
| | Posted on Monday, August 08, 2005 - 11:56 am: |
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Well done on post 300, Inspector. Make me a cup of tea.
Actually, Adam, the guy responsible had no sense of humour at all. He was one of the most miserable people we've had on the tour for a long time. Fairly sure it was a genuine question. I know most Aussies are like you say. This guy wasn't!
PHILIP
Tour guides do it loudly in front of a crowd!
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Lindsey Millar
Inspector
Username: Lindsey
Post Number: 444
Registered: 9-2004
| | Posted on Monday, August 08, 2005 - 4:16 pm: |
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Hi all,
There's a woman at the nursing home - kitchen staff member, although I have begun to question lately whether she perhaps oughtn't be a resident in the secured unit - seems to be besotted with the idea that I'm English, even though I've been in the States for the past 17 years, and am really now more Soccoroan than English.. but anyway, every morning when I go to the dining room to get my usual cup of tea, she asks me another question. Over the past several months it has been anything from, "did you ever meet the Queen?" to "so, what do you think of Camilla?" Beatles, Fergie, Winston Churchill and "what was it like during the war?" included in that lot.
Well, yesterday morning it was, "did you ever bump into Jack the Ripper?" (I mean, just how old does this woman think I am?! "what was it like during the war?" was bad enough, but asking me if I ever bumped into Jack??)
My patience really beginning to run low, I just told her, "know what, we probably will never know who Jack the Ripper was, but I do happen to be very good friends with George Hutchinson, a very valid suspect. We chat every week, in fact. He's actually a sweetie, so I highly doubt that he was Jack the Ripper - tho' wouldn't trust him to borrow my can opener." Her lower jaw was down to her knees by the time I'd poured my dash of milk into my tea.
Anticipating her next question...
In the meantime, please stop the world, I really do want to get off and take a very long nap. Well and truly worn out from answering ridiculous questions! Seriously considering just bringing my kettle, tea bags and milk to work with me and brewing up in one of the residents' rooms.
Lyn
(Message edited by lindsey on August 08, 2005)
"When a man grows tired of London, he grows tired of life" (or summat like that)
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Adam Went
Inspector
Username: Adamw
Post Number: 306
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 09, 2005 - 5:35 am: |
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Hi Phil,
"Well done on post 300, Inspector. Make me a cup of tea."
What's the magic word...? ;)
"Actually, Adam, the guy responsible had no sense of humour at all. He was one of the most miserable people we've had on the tour for a long time. Fairly sure it was a genuine question. I know most Aussies are like you say. This guy wasn't!"
Wow...that doesn't sound like much of an Australian 'attitude.'
Still, it sounds very dumb, but yes, some Australians have senses of humour like that, so I was just wondering.
By the way, you've mentioned before about dumb questions, etc on your tours...have you ever had anyone that was opposite to that, as in, they acted like know-alls and tried to outdo you?
I can't imagine anything more annoying than that...
Cheers,
Adam.
"...Since then the idea has taken full possession of me, and everything fits in and dovetails so well that I cannot help feeling that this (George Chapman) is the man we struggled so hard to capture fifteen years ago..."
- Inspector Frederick Abberline, March 1903 interview, Pall Mall Gazette .
Hmmm.....
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George Hutchinson
Chief Inspector
Username: Philip
Post Number: 628
Registered: 1-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 09, 2005 - 6:57 am: |
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Hi Adam.
The magic word is 'NOW!!!!'. 
That's a very good question you ask, and you know - NO ONE has ever tried to interrupt or correct me (mind you, he says arrogantly, I try to make a point of only covering indisputable facts).
I often have people asking me to explain why I disbelieve in MJD, Maybrick, Sickert, Gull and Clarence but they have never tried to tell me I am wrong.
A couple of times I have had some scientific bod on the tour who has, in the pub afterwards, explained in detail about mitochondrial DNA (in ref to Mr Painter Man...) but that is as far as it goes.
The only people who have ever pulled me up on anything I have said about JTR have been fellow Ripperologists!
PHILIP
PS : MJD was masquerading as a pantomime horse at Sandringham during the murder of MJK.
Tour guides do it loudly in front of a crowd!
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Adam Went
Inspector
Username: Adamw
Post Number: 310
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 09, 2005 - 7:15 am: |
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Hi Phil,
"The magic word is 'NOW!!!!'"
Thought it might be.
Ahh, the struggles of being a lowly Inspector.. ;)
Thanks for answering my question so quickly, and I'm actually surprised that nobody has pulled you up and pretended they know better on something.
I'd say most of them who know faint things about the Ripper probably would have got most of their info from movies like "From Hell", and that's sure to be a battleground for some of the things that are actually factual.
By the way, you mentioned about how you say you disbelieve in Gull, Sickert, Maybrick, etc....well, could you do me a little favour on your next tour?
Just say something like... "However, it is quite clear from the evidence that a man called George Chapman was Jack the Ripper..."
I for one would like that, if I was on your tour..
Hehe. Just kidding, of course.
Cheers,
Adam.
"...Since then the idea has taken full possession of me, and everything fits in and dovetails so well that I cannot help feeling that this (George Chapman) is the man we struggled so hard to capture fifteen years ago..."
- Inspector Frederick Abberline, March 1903 interview, Pall Mall Gazette .
Hmmm.....
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George Hutchinson
Chief Inspector
Username: Philip
Post Number: 629
Registered: 1-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 09, 2005 - 1:22 pm: |
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That would be the George Chapman who was Annie's husband when she lived in Sweden and went hop-picking, right?
I did have someone last night ask me about the grape stalks. They had seen FROM HELL. I told them as far as I was concerned it was a fictional nod towards the Packer (non-)incident, which I presume is as good an answer as you can give.
George Chapman can't have been JTR. He was playing cricket in Dieppe at the time.
PHILIP
Tour guides do it loudly in front of a crowd!
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Adam Went
Inspector
Username: Adamw
Post Number: 311
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 10, 2005 - 5:21 am: |
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Hi Phil,
Regarding the grapes question you got on your tour, I think you gave the right answer -- you could launch into a lecture on why most experts/JTR enthusiasts these days think Matthew Packer was telling a bit of a tall story, but that would probably only confuse the non-Ripperologist.
As for George Chapman, no no, you've got the wrong one.
My suspect George Chapman was a fish porter who was locked up in Joliet Prison in Melbourne with Frederick Deeming in 1910 because he was really Dr. Crippen.
He was acquitted, but was soon in trouble again because he frauded a diary confessing to be Jack the Ripper, which was then stolen by Michael Ostrog.
It ended up that he was none of the above, and had really been in London hospital throughout the Ripper murders, and had drowned himself in the Thames at the end of 1888.
Sound like a plausible theory?
Well, it does to me!
Cheers,
Adam.
"...Since then the idea has taken full possession of me, and everything fits in and dovetails so well that I cannot help feeling that this (George Chapman) is the man we struggled so hard to capture fifteen years ago..."
- Inspector Frederick Abberline, March 1903 interview, Pall Mall Gazette .
Hmmm.....
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steve turner
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 10, 2005 - 4:24 am: |
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He sure was, with Maybrick keeping wicket,And Gull And Netley in the slips. |
Adam Went
Inspector
Username: Adamw
Post Number: 317
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Sunday, August 14, 2005 - 5:26 am: |
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Hi Steve,
Gull in the slips? Hmm....his reflexes might not be quick enough, don't you think? ;)
How about this for a team...
The Ripper Cricket Team
George Chapman (Captain)
Joseph Barnett
James Maybrick
Francis Tumblety
John Netley
M.J. Druitt (Vice-Captain)
John Pizer
Aaron Kosminski
Michael Ostrog
W.H. Bury
Walter Sickert
James Kelly (12th man)
And the fielding positions:
Chapman - Square Leg
Barnett - Slip 1
Maybrick - Wicket Keeper
Tumblety - Deep Backward Point
Netley - Short Leg
Druitt - Slip 2
Pizer - Long Leg
Kosminski - Mid-on
Ostrog - Mid-off
Bury - Slip 3
Sickert - Slip 4
Oh, and Roslyn D'Onston Stephenson as the Umpire.
Sound like a decent cricket team?
I don't think they would have been.. ;)
Cheers,
Adam.
"...Since then the idea has taken full possession of me, and everything fits in and dovetails so well that I cannot help feeling that this (George Chapman) is the man we struggled so hard to capture fifteen years ago..."
- Inspector Frederick Abberline, March 1903 interview, Pall Mall Gazette .
Hmmm.....
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Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 4786
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, August 14, 2005 - 1:46 pm: |
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Adam, no JTR cricket team would be complete without Morris coming in as night watchman.
Robert |
Suzi Hanney
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Suzi
Post Number: 2823
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, August 14, 2005 - 5:27 pm: |
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Great to see standards aren't slipping in my absence!!!!
Suzi
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Suzi Hanney
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Suzi
Post Number: 2824
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, August 14, 2005 - 5:33 pm: |
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Well it made me laugh and its just here c/o of the lovely madman Louis Wain...someone who was made for Diddles!!!!! and to cheer Lyn up!!!
Suz |
George Hutchinson
Chief Inspector
Username: Philip
Post Number: 652
Registered: 1-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, August 14, 2005 - 7:59 pm: |
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Adam.
Big mistake - the obvious candidate for Vice Captain is Eddy. About the time of Cleveland Street, to be precise.
Suzi - always loved Louis Wain. Around at the time, spent years in Bedlam for his schizophrenia, cats....
New suspect.
Just don't post up any of those kalaedoscopic patterns he made of cats whilst in the worst stages of his illness because they scare the merry Hell out of me.
PHILIP
Tour guides do it loudly in front of a crowd!
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Adam Went
Inspector
Username: Adamw
Post Number: 319
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, August 15, 2005 - 4:43 am: |
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Hi all,
Robert:
"Adam, no JTR cricket team would be complete without Morris coming in as night watchman."
Oh yes, how could I forget about him! OK...Morris too...
And how about Matthew Packer as the runner, for drinks, etc? Might even be able to sneak a few grapes out to the players...?? ;)
George:
"Big mistake - the obvious candidate for Vice Captain is Eddy. About the time of Cleveland Street, to be precise."
Hehe. Alright, Eddy as V.C. instead of Druitt...though I don't know if M.J. would be too happy about that...might go and throw himself in the Thames in despair, or something...;)
Cheers,
Adam.
"...Since then the idea has taken full possession of me, and everything fits in and dovetails so well that I cannot help feeling that this (George Chapman) is the man we struggled so hard to capture fifteen years ago..."
- Inspector Frederick Abberline, March 1903 interview, Pall Mall Gazette .
Hmmm.....
|
Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 4795
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Monday, August 15, 2005 - 6:46 am: |
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Adam, bowler Monty tried to throw himself in the Thames twice. The first time, he missed, and a wide was called.
NB Something will have to be done to stop Ostrog wearing a stolen Eton jersey.
Robert |
Suzi Hanney
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Suzi
Post Number: 2828
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Monday, August 15, 2005 - 9:56 am: |
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Hehe Robert loved that one!!!!! Lets never say that Jack bowled a maiden over eh!!!Having a serious Spanish Gitane for you as I type!!!!
Philip- NOW THIS IS SCARY!!!!!! Louis again got Dids disguised as a Paisley pattern!!!!! Blimey!!!!!
GOD its good to be back!!!
Suz x |
Suzi Hanney
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Suzi
Post Number: 2829
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Monday, August 15, 2005 - 10:29 am: |
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Right after this one back to Dids thread!!!!
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee |
George Hutchinson
Chief Inspector
Username: Philip
Post Number: 654
Registered: 1-2005
| | Posted on Monday, August 15, 2005 - 11:13 am: |
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Suzi -
There are FAR more unsettling ones by Wain than the one above. As you have no doubt seen. They just do my head in.
Adam - MJD should be in charge of the Junior XI.
PHILIP
Tour guides do it loudly in front of a crowd!
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Suzi Hanney
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Suzi
Post Number: 2831
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Monday, August 15, 2005 - 12:07 pm: |
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Philip
I know!!!!!
Tooooooo scared to look let alone post!!!!
LOL
Suz |
George Hutchinson
Chief Inspector
Username: Philip
Post Number: 656
Registered: 1-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 6:48 am: |
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In case ANYONE (is there?) doesn't know what I'm talking about... THIS shows the degeneration of Louis Wain's perception. There are some even further removed than the last one. They scared me as a kid and they still scare me now.
PHILIP
Tour guides do it loudly in front of a crowd!
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Dan Norder
Chief Inspector
Username: Dannorder
Post Number: 832
Registered: 4-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 - 11:47 am: |
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I always thought that last one looked like a Hindu or Chinese god of some sort...
Dan Norder, Editor
Ripper Notes: The International Journal for Ripper Studies
 Profile  Email  Dissertations  Website
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Howard Brown
Chief Inspector
Username: Howard
Post Number: 852
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 23, 2005 - 7:59 pm: |
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Phil:
They scare me too,buddy....I thought I was tripping for about 5 seconds there...
Dan:
The one cat that you mentioned looks a little like the 1968 album cover of "Anthem Of the Sun" by the Grateful Dead. |
Adam Went
Inspector
Username: Adamw
Post Number: 324
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 6:32 am: |
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Hi again all!
Robert:
"Adam, bowler Monty tried to throw himself in the Thames twice. The first time, he missed, and a wide was called.
NB Something will have to be done to stop Ostrog wearing a stolen Eton jersey."
Ah yes, and when he missed, wicket-keeper Maybrick couldn't stop him, he just kept going, and so Bye-Bye's were called. ;)
As for Ostrog, yes, that is a real worry - perhaps he could borrow that military uniform off Tumblety instead, do you think?
Phil:
"Adam - MJD should be in charge of the Junior XI."
He could do that, but MJD might run out on them a few hours before a game starts - might not be the best idea.
Perhaps Maybrick should keep track of MJD's appearances in his diary, hmmm? ;)
Cheers,
Adam.
"...Since then the idea has taken full possession of me, and everything fits in and dovetails so well that I cannot help feeling that this (George Chapman) is the man we struggled so hard to capture fifteen years ago..."
- Inspector Frederick Abberline, March 1903 interview, Pall Mall Gazette .
Hmmm.....
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Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 4853
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 24, 2005 - 7:10 am: |
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Adam, we must put black magician Stephenson on the boundary, so that he can step over it.
And let's find a place for Tessie O'Shea in the team.
1. She could be Kelly's mum.
2. She could be the roller.
Robert |
Adam Went
Inspector
Username: Adamw
Post Number: 327
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Saturday, August 27, 2005 - 10:54 pm: |
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Hi Robert,
"Adam, we must put black magician Stephenson on the boundary, so that he can step over it."
Haha!
Yes, we could do that, OR we could put him actually over the boundary, so if he takes any catches, he can magically re-appear back over the boundary and claim the catch - what do you think?
One thing is for sure, though - we won't want to put Ostrog anywhere near the boundary, or else he'll go around pinching the drinks out of the coolers...
"And let's find a place for Tessie O'Shea in the team.
1. She could be Kelly's mum.
2. She could be the roller."
Don't know who Tessie O'Shea is, but sounds like she would make a good boundary protector, or a cover for the pitch if it rains...;)
Cheers,
Adam.
P.S. Do you think we should have Richard Mansfield on the team, so he can change appearance on the ground and scare the batsmen into getting out..?
"...Since then the idea has taken full possession of me, and everything fits in and dovetails so well that I cannot help feeling that this (George Chapman) is the man we struggled so hard to capture fifteen years ago..."
- Inspector Frederick Abberline, March 1903 interview, Pall Mall Gazette .
Hmmm.....
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George Hutchinson
Chief Inspector
Username: Philip
Post Number: 674
Registered: 1-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, August 28, 2005 - 4:38 am: |
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Adam - Mansfield could play for both teams, surely?
And then halfway through the match someone can realise he can't actually play cricket at all but was just shamming.
Ooh... this is getting profound!
PHILIP
Tour guides do it loudly in front of a crowd!
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Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 4879
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, August 28, 2005 - 7:42 am: |
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Adam, Tessie O'Shea used to be known as "Two Ton Tessie."
I definitely think Geoff Boycott should be brought in as a special constable. Then instead of running people out, he could run them in.
Philip, Mansfield could indeed play for both teams - the change over would be after drinks.
Robert |
Jeffrey Bloomfied
Chief Inspector
Username: Mayerling
Post Number: 820
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, August 28, 2005 - 1:16 pm: |
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I am more inclined to think that Chapman would not be of much use on a cricket team. Unless he and his wives were serving drinks (not a free bar though). Chapman might be more into soccer/football due to his birth on the continent, or even baseball (from his American stint). If he were given a cricket bat, he probably would attack one of his wives with it.
If it was baseball, Ostrog could be of use stealing bases.
I think that Lewis Carroll, Francis Thompson, James Kenneth Stephen, and Charles Conder could be among the audience, several of the writers doing sports column reviews of the game. Carroll or Thompson would do it as a comic poem about a cricket game, a la "Casey at the bat" ["Druitt at the wicket"?]. Dr. Cream can sell admission tickets. The person to build the concrete bleachers is Deeming (the members of losing teams being buried underneath them).
My next question is who would be the opposite team - the police investigators from Sir Charles down most likely. Or should it be twelve other criminals?
Best wishes,
Jeff |
George Hutchinson
Chief Inspector
Username: Philip
Post Number: 675
Registered: 1-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, August 28, 2005 - 8:26 pm: |
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Jeff -
Chas would need a couple of bloodhounds as mascots but they would probably get lost in the fog.
PHILIP
Tour guides do it loudly in front of a crowd!
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Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 4883
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Monday, August 29, 2005 - 5:15 am: |
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Well Jeff, it's difficult to see who could play for the police team.
Abberline, with his gardening expertise, I feel should be groundsman - we could really trust him to keep the weeds and brambles down, even wandering the pitch at night to pull up dandelions.
Macnaghten could cremate his notes on Druitt and place the remains in an urn - hence the Ashes. But if he asked to play, I would give him a list of people any one of whom would be more likely than him to win a place in the team.
As for Anderson, it's no good for a team to find that the next batsman in is abroad.
Supt Cutbush could act as a guinea pig, testing the batsmen's protective helmets with a revolver.
Robert |
Jennifer Pegg
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Jdpegg
Post Number: 2888
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Monday, August 29, 2005 - 6:16 am: |
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Robert!!!!
the worlds gone cricket mad, suddenly.
Jenni
"You know I'm not gonna diss you on the Internet
Cause my momma taught me better than that."
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Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 4888
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Monday, August 29, 2005 - 5:45 pm: |
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PS I should add that if I had to pick someone to bat for my life, it would be Boycott.
Robert |
steve turner
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Thursday, September 01, 2005 - 11:19 am: |
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Robert, are you putting Boycott foward as a ripper suspect?the fabled Yorkshire connection.I can remember him glaring daggers at Botham when the latter got him run out And dont forget the fun and games with his girlfriend.I believe the police call that previous form..... |
Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 4911
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, September 01, 2005 - 1:29 pm: |
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Hi Steve
These were mostly outdoor murders, so Jack had to get out in order to perform them. I don't see Boycott getting out at all!
Robert |
steve turner
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Thursday, September 01, 2005 - 1:51 pm: |
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Ah,touche Robert.Of course if it had been our dear Geoff, would that have made him A Yorkshire ripper.(Straight bat lad straight bat, think of your averages.) |
Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 4912
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, September 01, 2005 - 2:43 pm: |
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Yes Steve, a Yorkshire Ripper.
But what if Jack dropped the kidney as he walked off with the apron?
"My granny could have caught that in her pinny."
Robert |
steve turner
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Thursday, September 01, 2005 - 3:13 pm: |
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Yeah, I dont think even Geraint Jones could drop a "Ginny" kidney in full flight,But what ever would Dr openshaw have said. Mishter Lusk sor... |
Jennifer Pegg
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Jdpegg
Post Number: 2905
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, September 01, 2005 - 3:50 pm: |
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Geraint Jones?
You wouldn't be dissing Mr Jones now would you Steve?
I think he is an asset to the side!
"You know I'm not gonna diss you on the Internet
Cause my momma taught me better than that."
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Adam Went
Inspector
Username: Adamw
Post Number: 333
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, September 05, 2005 - 6:44 am: |
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Hi again all!
Philip:
"Adam - Mansfield could play for both teams, surely?
And then halfway through the match someone can realise he can't actually play cricket at all but was just shamming."
Now there's an idea!
Though I'm afraid that whoever was bowling to Mansfield would have nothing but wides and no-balls, since Mansfield could change appearances just before each delivery.
Unless we had Michael Ostrog bowling to him. Even with Mansfield's appearance after he turned ugly, Ostrog could just shrug his shoulders and say "Been there, done that"...
Robert:
"Adam, Tessie O'Shea used to be known as "Two Ton Tessie.""
Nice!! Wouldn't we have to widen the pitch when she came in to bat, then..??
Atleast she could protect her stumps....fantastic oppurtunities for LBW, though...
Jeff:
"I am more inclined to think that Chapman would not be of much use on a cricket team. Unless he and his wives were serving drinks (not a free bar though). Chapman might be more into soccer/football due to his birth on the continent, or even baseball (from his American stint). If he were given a cricket bat, he probably would attack one of his wives with it."
Yeah, you've got a point there, though wouldn't giving him a baseball bat have a similar effect?
I think handing a cricket bat to almost any of the people on the Ripper team would be to put your life at extreme risk! ;)
I wouldn't want to be the bowler who got them out, put it that way! Haha.
Finally, there's been talk of a police/official team to oppose the Ripper cricket team.
Here's my idea for a team:
-Queen Victoria (Capt., and pace bowler)
-Henry Matthews (V.C., leg spinner)
-Inspector Frederick Abberline (Night watchman)
-Sir Melville Macnaghten (D.V.C., off-breaker)
-Donald Swanson
-Sir Robert Anderson
-George Godley (Medium pace bowler)
-Walter Dew (2nd pace bowler)
-J.G. Littlechild
-P.C. Watkins
-Inspector Walter Andrews (2nd leg spinner)
12th (wo)man: Tessie O'Shea
What do you all think?
And yes, this is bordering on insanity, but oh well...who cares!.. ;)
Cheers,
Adam.
"...Since then the idea has taken full possession of me, and everything fits in and dovetails so well that I cannot help feeling that this (George Chapman) is the man we struggled so hard to capture fifteen years ago..."
- Inspector Frederick Abberline, March 1903 interview, Pall Mall Gazette .
Hmmm.....
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Adam Went
Inspector
Username: Adamw
Post Number: 334
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, September 05, 2005 - 6:47 am: |
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Jenni,
You'd be better off having Dr. Gull as your wicket keeper, after he'd become partially paralysed, than Geraint Jones. He'd take more catches, anyway.
Cheers,
Adam.
"...Since then the idea has taken full possession of me, and everything fits in and dovetails so well that I cannot help feeling that this (George Chapman) is the man we struggled so hard to capture fifteen years ago..."
- Inspector Frederick Abberline, March 1903 interview, Pall Mall Gazette .
Hmmm.....
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Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 4931
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Monday, September 05, 2005 - 6:55 am: |
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Adam, good call on Queen Victoria, as she'd handle the sledging very well :
"We are not abused."
Robert |
Jennifer Pegg
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Jdpegg
Post Number: 2924
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Monday, September 05, 2005 - 2:58 pm: |
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Adam,
don't be dissing him. Its very good when he's on the pitch!!
Jenni
"You know I'm not gonna diss you on the Internet
Cause my momma taught me better than that."
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steve turner
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 06, 2005 - 9:29 am: |
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Jenni, we understand you like Mr jones, but is it for purely cricket reasons.BTW Robert I have decided that Boycott could not have been Jack,( apart from the obvious fact that he wasn't born) There is no way he would have risked getting all that blood on his "Whites"Plus the only long innings played was at Millers Court. |
steve turner
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Friday, September 02, 2005 - 4:43 am: |
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Jennifer,I believe in the old adage "beware the fury of a woman" so just allow me to say that I think Mr Jones is the finest British wicket keeper of his generation. and is in no way responsible for ANY of the whitechapel murders |
Sarah Long
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Sarah
Post Number: 1345
Registered: 11-2003
| | Posted on Monday, September 12, 2005 - 7:02 am: |
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I don't suppose this is too stupid as I was once the same, but it certainly makes you realise what they are teaching in Criminology university courses! A guy on my psychology course apparently took one such course and said they went into JTR within this course. He then told me that JTR was probably a surgeon or that the Royal Conspiracy sounded plausible. I told him that I disagreed but he wouldn't have it. Back when I was more naive about the case, I guess I had similar ideas so I can't really complain, but I realise how annoying it can be for people who've studied the case for years to have a newbie tell you JTR was probably someone who had just as much chance of being JTR as the Pope waking up one morning and saying "You know, maybe Hinduism is the way for me!"
Smile and the world will wonder what you've been up to 
Smile too much and the world will guess 
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steve turner
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 13, 2005 - 9:49 am: |
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Sarah, hi are you saying that they taught this non-sence on the Uni course, or that "Sherlock" had figured it all out for himself. |
Eddie Derrico
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 14, 2005 - 10:21 am: |
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An old fellow I worked with named "Gus" was sitting by me at lunch one day while I was reading a book on Jack the Ripper. Gus looked at me and said something like"Jack the Ripper". That's why you'll never see me walking around New York at night. They still didn't catch that guy."
This next quote by Gus isn't related to Jack the Ripper, but I thought I would put in in "Just for jolly". We were talking about the Russian satellite "Sputnik", that fell back to Earth after 20 years of orbit. Gus said "They found parts of the satellite, but they didn't find any of the astronauts yet".
Yours Truly
Eddie |
George Hutchinson
Chief Inspector
Username: Philip
Post Number: 737
Registered: 1-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 6:54 am: |
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Eddie - sheer genius. Give Gus his own TV series now!
PHILIP
Tour guides do it loudly in front of a crowd!
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Eddie Derrico
Unregistered guest
| | Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 7:41 am: |
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Hi George
This guy was a real beauty. He thought the Chicago 7 was a Hockey Team !
Yours Truly
Eddie |
